A soak in the English Countryside.

Written by Cole Schafer

When life bares its teeth, close your eyes and transport yourself to the English countryside. To get to it, you’ve got to travel a long, snaking road that weaves through a series of towns each more beautiful than the last. The moment you've had the chance to fall in love with one, it's already a whimsical shrinking heap in the rear-view mirror. After two or three more of these cobblestone heartbreaks, you arrive at this cottage where out back on the patio sits a large wooden bathtub. You spin the faucet until steam kicks into the air like a smoldering chimney. You plug up the drain. Then, you turn your attention to this magnificent sea of muted green that travels as far as the eye can see. You stand there and you tell yourself that nothing else is real save for the patio, the English countryside and the bathtub behind you. Once the tub risks overflowing, you strip down and then plunge in. You hold your breath. You feel the hot water warm you from the inside out. You reemerge, you light a cigarette and you enjoy a smoke. You wait for the wolves to tire themselves out.