*Typing*

Suffering is comprised of three basic human emotions: Anger, Sadness and Fear. Anger is the feeling of having been wronged. Sadness is the feeling of loss. Fear is the feeling of worry surrounding the potential for loss. We spend most of our lives bouncing between these three emotions and so we spend most of our lives in a state of suffering. To escape suffering, it's helpful to consider it through the lens of time.

Suffering is a time machine. It removes us from the present and transports us to a place in the past or the future. When we are angry, we are hurt by something that has happened to us. When we are sad, we are hurt by something we no longer have. Both of these emotions are experienced in the past and so they remove our minds and our hearts from the present moment. Fear is a bit different––but just as destructive––in that it is experienced in the future. Fear prevents us from enjoying what we have in the present because we worry about not having it in the future.

To achieve greater presence in our lives, we must develop a greater awareness of our emotions and where they place us in time: Anger (past), Sadness (past), Fear (future). It doesn't mean we can't feel these emotions. It's impossible not to feel them. But, we can learn to limit our time feeling them. We can choose to step out of the time machine.

Nothing happens twice. Similar experiences happen again and again, yes. But, no two experiences are ever the same. Yet, you treat each of life's experiences like cookie-cutter commodities being churned out on a production belt.

Experiences don't work this way. Neither do you, the one experiencing the experiences. Heraclitus once wrote that no man ever steps in the same river twice because it's not the same river and he's not the same man. This is true for your life's experiences.

The Japanese have a saying: Ichigo Ichie. It means that what you are experiencing now will never happen again. It's a verbal recognition of the finite, allowing you (the speaker of the mantra) to hone your focus and attention until you are fully present in the experience in front of you.

When the world was more dangerous, anger was useful in protecting yourself and the ones you love. Nowadays, with the constant threat of danger no longer looming over head, anger is mostly destructive. Anger throws you into an altered state that obstructs your judgement and causes you to make poor, rash decisions that you often later regret.

Because of this, you should limit your time spent being angry. You can't completely do away with anger but you can limit your exposure by reclaiming control of the stories you tell yourself. More times than not, you aren't angry because of a situation. You are angry because of the story you are telling yourself about the situation. Sometimes this story is accurate. Most times, it's not.

Controlling anger is about controlling the stories you tell yourself.

Are they offensive?

Or, are you easily offended?

Are they annoying?

Or, are you easily annoyed?

Are they boring?

Or, are you easily bored?

Qualities you find to be abrasive in others, can show you areas of fragility in yourself.

Don't be so quick to write off individuals who are abrasive.

Instead, ask yourself why you are so easily abraded.

Every single day, you are presented with opportunities. You say "yes" to most of these opportunities not because you want to. You say "yes" because you hate disappointing others, fear missing out and have the tendency to vastly underestimate how much time you really have. You think that saying "yes" to every opportunity that comes your way will get you ahead in life and work but it usually leaves you feeling burnout with little to show for all your fiery effort.

Because you are an ambitious individual, you will never have to worry about undercommitting yourself. You just won't. So, instead, you should practice saying "no". In fact, "no" should become your default answer. If you can't decide on what to do concerning an opportunity, the answer should always be "no". By saying "no", you will disappoint others in the near term but they will respect you more in the long-term. By saying "no", you will notice that most opportunities are actually worth missing out on. By saying "no", you will create more space to do the kind of work that ignites your soul.