*Typing*

There is a story of a CIA agent who was having difficulty building trust between himself and a tribal elder in Afghanistan. One day, he gifted the patriarch four Viagra, one for each of his young wives. When the CIA agent returned a few days later, a friendship had formed between them.

You should do right by others simply for the sake of doing right by them. However, reciprocity is also a powerful way to build relationships. When somebody does something kind for you, you feel obligated to do something kind for them in return. The Japanese have a word for this sense of obligation. It's called sumimasen and it literally translates to "this will not end".

Success comes down to your level of comfortability with having uncomfortable conversations. It's uncomfortable to ask for the opportunity. It's uncomfortable to demand more money. It's uncomfortable to sell yourself. It's uncomfortable to tell someone no. It's uncomfortable to express vulnerability. It's uncomfortable to provide constructive criticism. Yet, it is through each of these uncomfortable conversations, that we can experience greater perspective, depth, awareness and craftsmanship. If you are stalled and you don't know what to do next, think seriously about the conversations you've been avoiding. For it's the conversations we don't want to have, that we need to have most.

You must know your own limits. You must know the limits of your patience, your resilience and certainly your talent. This is not weakness but awareness. In most every area in life, you will see there is a ceiling to your potential. If that ceiling hangs low, it's wise to find another house to make your home. Continue your search. Allow your heightened awareness to show you the way. With time, you will discover a vocation that feels like play to you but labor to others. It's here where you shall make your bed. And, if you are fortunate enough to find a vocation where your talent is limitless, scale the walls like a spider in the dark.

It's very difficult to compete with someone who is obsessed. Michael Jordan was obsessed. Serena Williams was obsessed. Steve Jobs was obsessed. Coco Chanel was obsessed. The obsessed are willing to make sacrifices the un-obsessed aren't. They will rise earlier. They will work harder, longer. They will risk more. They will consume knowledge with the unquenchable hunger of a jungle cat. They will annihilate you. You should never compete with the obsessed. Instead, you should find another vocation where you are the obsessed, where you are the rare few.

Philosopher Joseph Campbell tells the story of a samurai who chose not to kill while he was angry. It was the Japanese warrior's duty to avenge the death of his overlord. He tracked down the murderer. He cornered him. He was moments away from cutting him down, when the murderer spat in his face.

Feeling himself overwhelmed with rage, the samurai sheathed his sword, turned around and walked away. If the samurai would have killed the murderer while he was angry, he would have acted out of hatred rather than honor.

But, instead he followed the Samurai credo of non-reaction. He suspended action until he could respond rather than react.